now that the weather is getting colder in berlin i am thinking about the things you do when it gets colder - i was excited that you would be able to ice skate again and then i remembered it feels like i was JUST ice skating because before lock down happened i was ice skating but it seems just like yesterday
the months are put together in a big wobble! without seasons. seasons are not dictating the year. the year is dictated by when are things normal again? when are things down again?
it's a different restriction than by the weather. it is 12 degrees and i am sitting outside at a vietnamese restaurant eating lunch with a thick jacket and a hat. why did we ever sit inside when it was still possible to eat outside ? i wondered
it felt completely normal to sit outside. so things are normal. just different normal
but between cold, spring, summer, the fall pretty much doesnt let you not see that it's fall. orange brown leaves dark red trees, a fresh smell from rain, just uncomfortable rain and wind but also beautiful that now i can focus on a season.
i eat tacos with friends on benches in front of a bar and i ask my friend, would we have sat inside or outside? probably inside between smokey faces and a shortage of air that was made more bearable by another drink and another one.
i don't have fall clothes, i have warm clothes that i layer less thick so i can layer it up once the eerie cold comes through. i look at chestnuts remembering the chestnut figures i made with my mom. why do chestnuts look so delicious that you want to collect them? then they sit at home. i started collecting leaves to make a leave decor but then used the bag to collect dog poop of a dog i was watching.
watching fall arrive i suddenly pay attention to song lyrics
and then i dont
i guess it all comes and then it goes
one day i like a lot of emotional music sometimes i dont at all
now i eat outside sometimes i dont
it's nice to just focus on that
